I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I cannot find my penis.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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