Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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