giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
