Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
