i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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