I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
