I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
