Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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