I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
