with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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