His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
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