Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
