We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
