yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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