i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
