Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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