1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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