There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
