Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
