I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
