Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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