she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
