you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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