She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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