I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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