Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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