my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
