he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
