now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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