...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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