Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish they made helmets for livers.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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