Porn is love you can see.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
