He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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