I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sorry about my life...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
