so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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