why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
