Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
