my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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