i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
