So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
