i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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