What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
if only i could text you this smell
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
my poor anus
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
