Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
