why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
