Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He kissed a someone with a penis
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
