I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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