you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
