saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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