For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
