You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
These tits shall not be calmed
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