There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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