BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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